


Playing with Fire

by Sea_of_Aislings



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: A lot of Angsty Kylo Ren ;), Also mature audience as there may be some naughty words said ;), And a fiery reader, Because I LOVE a slow build up, Eventual Romance?, F/M, Maybe a little fluff?, Slow Build, Violence, You guys will be the death of each other tbh, angsty kylo ren, maybe some smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-17
Updated: 2018-06-18
Packaged: 2019-05-24 08:36:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,852
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14951285
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sea_of_Aislings/pseuds/Sea_of_Aislings
Summary: You woke up with a searing pain in your head. It was the kind of pain that blurred your vision so that all you could see was hot red nothings. You look around to recognize yourself with your surroundings. Grey. Everything was a dark, cool metal, the only exception being the bright, fluorescent lights shining above you. You felt a shiver run down your spine. There was nothing in the room except for yourself, and you instantly knew; you were on the First Order’s base.





	1. Losing Dreams

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first work ever! (Yay!) I hope you enjoy it and please feel free to leave writing advice in the comments; I hope that I can improve my writing style with every chapter I write. 
> 
> Please enjoy the story of you and how you made your undesired encounter with Kylo Ren. ;)
> 
> Song Recommendation: Under Stars by Aurora

You woke up with a searing pain in your head. It was the kind of pain that blurred your vision so that all you could see was hot red nothings. You look around to recognize yourself with your surroundings. Grey. Everything was a dark, cool metal, the only exception being the bright, fluorescent lights shining above you. You felt a shiver run down your spine. There was nothing in the room except for yourself, and you instantly knew; you were on the First Order’s base.

It was all coming back to you so suddenly. It was only yesterday evening; after all, that you were in your quiet home in Cantonica, there was not a single thing out of order; it was a calm and ordinary day. You were merely meditating, as you preferred to stay unaffiliated with the corrupt and inhumane, as you believed, Races that so dominantly overtook this world’s population’s interests. You still did not quite understand why you chose this planet to be your quiet and hidden home, but you settled on the fact that you were embarrassingly engrossed in the fine quality of luxurious apparel and amenities. You believed your rich upbringing had led you to admire these specific commodities, and with the mannerism and etiquette you were forced to exhibit growing up, you believed yourself to _almost_ behold the qualities of a princess.

However, you were not a princess. You were a Jedi. And you were undoubtingly and immensely strong with the Force. But, you have had to lessen your connection with the Force lately. The First Order was strong and powerful, and as a ( _rare_ ) Jedi it would not be wise to give notice to your ability. You were simply playing it safe; keeping quiet and acting like an ordinary civilian. You believed yourself to be safe since no one knew that you were a Jedi. _No one._ That’s the thing about you, you led a rather solitude life, and because of it you were quite lonely. You told yourself it was for the best. No strings attached to anyone, allowing those potential friends and yourself to be free from hurt. And so you mediated. With mediation, you gained an almost surreal peace. It was the kind of peace where you felt infinite in the space around you. The sun’s rays would softly lie on your cheeks as if giving you little kisses and you felt like you could just be whisked away with the wind at any moment. You never felt the feelings of being alone when you mediated, in fact, you felt complete. Nothing could harm you in those moments.

That is until you are suddenly interrupted from your mediation with the sound of seven TIE-Fighters descending on the open field before your eyes. You immediately stand, trying to compose yourself. You briefly believed yourself to be imagining what you saw; it didn’t make sense at all. However, in the time it took you to register the true reality of your surroundings, you exerted a painful cry as you doubled over, falling to the floor of the sweet grass you moments ago where calming sitting upon. Your eyes were blurry from the pain, making you unable to see the dark shadow strolling towards you. The pain was deafening. Nothing like you have ever experienced in your life. It made you want to die. And like a whisper in the wind, you became unconscious, unable to defend yourself or to see who was taking you.

* * *

           

You felt numb. Your body was numb and your mind was numb, too. Why were you on the First Order’s base? Nobody knew who you were. It wasn’t possible. You stay lying on the cold, dark metal floor, curled up like a ball, as you stared on to nothing in particular. Suddenly, the door of your confinement opens; you don’t even flinch or look up to see who it is.

“Stand, prisoner.” A Stormtrooper. You don’t believe that you have ever seen one, and for whatever reason it seemed to baffle you. Maybe it was the reality sinking in. You were in denial that this was happening, that you were being held against your will on the First Order’s base for reasons you were not sure of, and reality decided to creep into your mind like a parasite. Quiet and unnoticed, and then suddenly all at once, it was there.

You stood up with an unamused look on your face, and he came to you to put cold and tight handcuffs onto your soft wrists. You winced at the pain they produced on your wrists, and wondered how long you would be made to wear them. The Stormtrooper took you by the arm, quite roughly, and pushed you out of your confinement into a vast and dismal hallway. He led you to your right, and after many turns around corridors and up a few flights of floors, you stopped in front of two large, deep red doors. You felt an unusual sense of uneasiness, and knew that danger could only be behind those doors. Your suspicion was soon answered.

The Stormtrooper led you into the room and stopped you half way, before releasing his grip on your arm and turning away out of the room swiftly. You were looking down to the floor as the Stormtrooper had led you into the room, so you were unaware as to whom you were being presented to. You were more so unwilling to look at who it was, rather than your physical ability to look straight being affected. You stood there, eyes focused on the floor, for what seemed like an exact second, until you felt the Force draw your head up so that you were making straight eye contact with the Supreme Leader Snoke.

“You amuse me,” Snoke coolly ejected, diminishing the, what felt like an infinite, silence.

You continue on looking at him, waiting for him to say anything else that could help with your confusion.

 “I believed to have successfully completed my mission of ridding the galaxy of the Jedi. Not a single user of the Light has been detected for well over a year. And yet, here you are. It amuses me, as I have mentioned, as I never fail my missions, but you are an exception. And I despise that,” Snoke musters with a tinge of anger and annoyance in his voice. “And so I cannot help but wonder; how is it possible that you are a Jedi? _How_?” Snoke bellows down to you, hatred in his eyes. The last statement exerted almost a heat of anger that whirled towards you, wrapping itself around you, leaving terror in your eyes. Your heart started to beat rapidly and you froze, unsure of whether or not to answer, but also not sure of what to say.

You could only part your lips a little to say something, anything, only for Snoke to use the Force to send a heat of pain in your direction. You scream out, while hot tears began to stream down your cheeks, and you become paralyzed from the pain, allowing for your knees to weaken and for you to fall to the floor.

“Answer _ME_!” Snoke rang out, never ending the ensuing pain wrapping itself around you. Not leaving one square inch of you uncovered from his anger.

You looked up at him and let out a little choke for air. You breathed heavy, and yet, at that moment, it felt that that was the only functional part working in your body. _Your breathing_. You knew you needed to answer him so that you could end the consuming pain that was being inflicted on you. You breathe out, “I don’t know.”

Snoke was unamused with the answer. “You _LIE_!” he snarled. And with that, another stab of pain was exerted your way, only it was more powerful and felt like it burned through to your soul. You were on the edge of unconsciousness when he had stopped. You lie there on the cold floor, staring aimlessly in front of you.

“I have an idea…no, a command,” Snoke started, “It appears as though that you are rather a feisty and fiery woman, what from my days of searching your thoughts. Oh, you may put on a disguise, but you would be prefect for my new mission. I know you will, because you will detest it. But, there is no way for you to run away from it, so I know that will only drive the anger out of you more.”

You look at Snoke with confusion and fear in your eyes. You have no idea what he has planned for you, and that terrifies you.

“I believe I can use you to my disposal,” Snoke chimed again, “my apprentice, Commander Kylo Ren, could use a little…inspiration.” Snoke displays a wicked look as he says the last part to his statement. You looked around to find the so-called Commander Kylo Ren. Apparently, he had been in this room the entire time, keeping to himself quietly, watching the whole episode of you being tortured by Supreme Leader Snoke. You couldn’t help but feel disgust overcome you as you let your eyes lay upon him every second more. He did not look at you, keeping his eye contact on Snoke. “Why, a feisty and fiery woman such as yourself would complement the Commander perfectly. In fact, I do believe a marriage between the two of you would suffice.”

You couldn’t believe what you were hearing. _Marriage…with Kylo Ren._ You felt as though you could be sick. Your world had turned upside down before you and you felt like you were struggling to breathe from being engulfed in the ocean’s rapid waves that was the realization that you had just lost your freedom. Your own desires and hopes for yourself vanishing from your reach. You lost your life. You were sentenced for the entirety of your life to be held as a prisoner on the First Order’s base. Because you were not simply marrying the Commander Kylo Ren, you were being forced by the Supreme Leader Snoke to be the Commander’s…what, exactly? What was the purpose of this? You darted your eyes back to Kylo Ren to see his expression. You noticed he had lowered his head a little, no longer making eye contact with Snoke, and with close inspection, you noticed his eyes were full of anger. You turned your attention back to Snoke, you opened your mouth as though you were going to say something, but as soon as you did, the Stormtrooper came back into the room, gripping your arm upwards, lifting you to your feet harshly, and you were escorted out of the room, away from Snoke and Kylo Ren.


	2. Numbness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song Recommendation: The Departure by Max Richter  
> (I think it sets the mood of how you are feeling during this chapter.)

You looked at yourself in the tall, dark-metaled framed mirror in your new, but still tightly confined, room. Black. You were drenched in the color. You were wearing a long dress that hugged at your hips yet billowed just below the knee to allow for _some_ movement when you walked, you noted. The dress rested off of your shoulders leaving you feeling exposed, and you couldn’t help but feel slightly uncomfortable from the way the breeze from the AC unit left little cold kisses on the back of your shoulders and neck. You wore matching black strappy heels that allowed for the end of the dress to just barely skim the metal floor. Your hair lay down past your back in soft curls, and your face looked like a painter’s showpiece; your eyes colored darkly, almost mimicking the darken nebulas found in space, your cheeks contoured with a deep, smooth flick of the brush, and your lips were painted a deep red, to almost complete the unintentional covering, of what seemed like, an illusion of how you truly felt in that moment.

You tucked your hair from your face behind your ears to gain a better look of yourself, allowing to take in every detail of your face. You were beautiful. And yet, you feel disgust wash over you suddenly from even letting the thought of something so optimistic, such as your breath-taking appearance, infiltrate your mind.  You continued to look on in the mirror, almost looking beyond it, beyond yourself, as your mind drifted off into an infinite space of numbness. Why were you here? What was going to happen to you? Your door suddenly opened after it had been knocked upon once by a… Stormtrooper. Funny, you didn’t think that they were capable of possessing mannerism such as knocking on a door before entering.

“Your presence has been requested,” the Stormtrooper coolly stated. You looked at yourself in the mirror once more, looking straight into your eyes, and you could see that apparently when you had zoned out, a single tear had fallen down your left cheek. You rubbed on your cheek to eliminate the evidence, and look at yourself one last time quickly and turn around to leave the room that you would never be in again.

For some reason, the new room you were placed in felt further away from Snoke’s grand throne room than the prisoner cell you had been in the day before. It felt like an eternity before you finally reached those horrible doors. As you made your travel, though, you couldn’t help but notice catching the attention of passing Stormtroopers or maintenance workers; they weren’t entirely obvious, but they were obvious enough that you could tell that they were staring at you for a little bit longer time than was comfortable. You wondered if they knew about you. Did they simply know that you were going to be Kylo Ren’s… _wife_? Or, did they know that you were here on this base for other reasons? You quickly changed your thought because you started to feel nauseas from thinking about either scenario. But here you were, in front of the doors that were merely stopping you from enduring your infinite doom, or so it felt like. You longed to hold on to that moment for just a second more, because it was the last moment where you had, well, a rather minimal amount of freedom left in your bones.

 

* * *

 

You felt like you were staring at that mirror in your old room again. You weren’t looking at yourself, but really beyond yourself, completely zoned out from the world around you, no thoughts or emotions in particular filled your brain. That’s what it felt like when you suddenly came to reality and you were standing in front of Kylo Ren. You had no memory of ever walking down the throne room and stopping in front of a large window overlooking the vast space that you were cruising through. You noticed he had his helmet on. Fantastic. He wasn’t looking at you, just looking onto the officiant in front of you two. How odd…you felt like you were in a twilight zone. You closed your eyes, thinking that maybe if you open them again you would be back home, mediating in the field, just like normal. But all you saw was the officiant when you opened your eyes. You honestly couldn’t tell what was being said by the officiant, all of it sounded so muffled and incoherent. You were quickly snapped back into reality when your hand had been harshly grabbed from your side, as Kylo Ren placed a simple, thin black band around your ring finger. Once it was placed snuggly on your finger, a slight burning sensation enveloped your finger beneath the ring, and you couldn’t help but let out a little gasp of pain and shock. Were you just…branded? But, of course, why should that have even surprised you.

Kylo let your hand go and it dangled back at your side, lifeless. You looked beyond the officiant into the window that painted a landscape of the little pinpointed stars against the contrasting darkness of the background. You wondered what it must be like to drift through space, drifting through those stars, deeper and deeper in the dark background until you were a pinpoint, too.

“Y/N….. _Y/N_?” The officiant was looking at you, annoyed.

“Yes?” You asked.

“Please, exchange bands.” You looked down to your open hand where an identical, but slightly thicker black band laid. Apparently, while you were drifting off in thought, the officiant had placed the ring in your hand without you noticing. You looked back at the officiant and then looked at Kylo’s hand. He took his glove off just for the placement of the ring, while still wearing the other glove. Why bother wearing both, you thought. You took the ring that had been placed in your hand and, shakenly, placed the ring on his ring finger and quickly let your hand dangle by your side once again, not looking up at his face at all.

“Let’s look at the wonderful new husband and wife!” Snoke bellowed out. You jumped, unaware that he was even in the room. “How wonderful, indeed,” a ginger-haired man exclaimed, a tinge of irritation in his voice. You had never seen him before, but you knew that you were better off continuing never to see him. He gave you an…uneasy feeling, to say the least. Kylo Ren had left your side and started to walk towards Snoke.

“Supreme Leader,” Kylo said, bowing down in front of Snoke.

“You are confused by my actions, Ren,” Snoke quizzically stated to Kylo. He only continued looking on to Snoke, seeking answers, any answers. So, even the Commander Kylo Ren seemed to not know the purpose of Snoke’s plan. That made you feel queasy in your stomach.

“Do you question my actions, Ren?” Snoke asked.

“No, Supreme Leader I don’t-,” Kylo was abruptly interrupted by Snoke.

“Ren, I believe you should show your new wife her new home.” Snoke had a sinister looking grin on his face as he stated this. You looked at Kylo; he didn’t look towards you immediately, but when he did make that rather painfully slow turn towards you, all he managed out to you was: “Come.”

It was just the two of you now, walking briskly down the halls and corridors towards what you presumed to be “your new home”. You felt like those words sliced into your every being when Snoke said them. You only had one home, and that was back on Cantonica; you were living in a prison, no matter what Snoke dared to call it. Kylo walked slightly faster than you, leaving you to manage to catch up to him, which was difficult due to the limited movement from your dress’s design. You thought it was probably a coincidence that you had been made to wear this dress in particular to prevent the chance for you to make any sudden escape dashes. Before you knew it, you were in front of what must have been “your new home”. Kylo opened the door and you followed in afterwards. You looked around, taking it all in. It was rather vast, with a large lounge area and bed towards the back on a platform, almost to grab your attention to say “hey, come over and get cozy”. The room was dark: black walls and black tiled floors. No surprise. The ‘fresher seemed to lead off from where the bed was located; you could only imagine how the size of it would compare to the rest of the room. Kylo went straight to the ‘fresher and you were left by yourself in the main area, standing there, twisting the band on your finger. You wondered how long it would take for you to get used to it. Kylo came back from the fresher, standing mere feet away from you, staring at you. It felt like an eternity before he coolly said, “You can sit down, you know?”  

You remained standing, looking away from him after a while to look at…well, anything else. This room…your new room, to be shared… with Kylo Ren. Wait? You are sharing this room with Kylo Ren. You look quickly back to the single bed in the room, and then quickly looked back to Kylo, giving him a questionable look.

“It’s not exactly what I would have wanted either.” He says before walking over to the sofa, slumping down and leaning his head back. He read your mind. Of course he would, but oh, has it been awhile since you have put up your mental walls to prevent this from happening. You were definitely re-acquainting yourself with that again. You were completely overwhelmed, and for some reason, you couldn’t help but let out a little chuckle of disbelief.

Kylo looked over to you, or his mask looked over to you. He still hadn’t taken it off. Maybe he wanted to conceal his monstrous face from you for just a little bit longer. Fine by you, you suppose. He stood up, walking slightly towards you so that he was towering over you, looking you straight in the eyes, leaving a slight shiver of terror run down your spine.

“Something funny?” he asked, keeping a, you suppose, straight eye contact with you. You felt goosebumps rapidly spring to life down your neck and arms.  

You snapped out of the terror that overtook you, and the anger that had been quietly building in you since you woke up on the base a few days ago started to fill you to your core. You looked back into where you believed his eyes would be behind the mask and held a gaze, not saying anything.

“It appears that you must be broken or something, because when your Commander asks you a question, you answer.” He fired at you, making you wince slightly.

“I’m not broken…” You answer back in a low tone, not breaking eye contact with him.

“So, you can speak.” He snaps back, irritation and annoyance filling his voice. You give him a glare before turning your face to look at the large window behind the bed. You can feel a rush of heat run through you, the kind of heat from anger. But, it’s not yours. Strange.

“Fine, stand there all night for all I care,” Kylo retorts, before stalking towards the ‘fresher once more, probably to change.

He stops midway before turning back around towards you. “Do you think that this is what I wanted? That I have any say or control over this?” he says to you. You were taken aback by this. Maybe it was from not expecting him to say anything else to you for…well, the rest of your life. But, you looked on to him, contorting your face into a rather quizzical look before saying, “As a matter of fact, I couldn’t quite fathom as to why you wouldn’t be able to have any control in this. It almost seems too coincidental.”

He continues looking on to you, the rush of heat running through your body again. He takes a step towards you. You take a step back.

“What are you implying?” He asks you. The way he asks you leaves a fear in you, ripping into every nook of your body. But, you don’t back down, and after swallowing a hard gulp, you continue on.

“I don’t know what you or Snoke have planned for me, but I will not let either of you use me. I would rather die than be forced to do… whatever you two have planned for me.” You say.

Kylo lets out what sounded like a sarcastic chuckle. “You think I know what the Supreme Leader has in store for you? How naïve.”

You continue to look at him, confused with fear filling your throat. You didn’t like the way he called you naïve. He takes another step towards you, and you take another step back; keeping an even distance between the two of you.

“I don’t trust you,” you say.

“Good.” Kylo musters out coolly. He really did seem like a monster now after saying that.

He takes another step towards you, but for whatever reason you are unable to move. You just stand there as fear wraps itself around you, leaving you paralyzed to Kylo. He takes advantage of this and takes another step towards you until he is towering over you yet again and you are forced to look up at him. To look at his mask. His stupid mask. You want him to face you, face to face, no mask standing in the way. You suppose he had read your mind again, because he reaches his hands up to his helmet, making a clicking sound and suddenly black locks fall from his face as he lifts the helmet from his head. You stare at him, your mouth gaping slightly at the sight of his face, and then you notice this and quickly purse your lips. He…didn’t look like a monster. But, his actions showed the qualities of being a monster. You wouldn’t allow yourself to humanize him. You grew angry again.

“I would appreciate it if you didn’t read my thoughts,” you stated.

“It’s the only way for me to know what you’re thinking. Seeing how as you apparently do not like to speak.”

“Why do you assume that I would want to speak to you? You are a monster and I want nothing to do with you.”

You could see the anger filling in his eyes as you said this. He clenched his fists at his sides. He stalked towards you so that you could feel his breath on you.

“Yes, I am,” he fires at you, indicating that he is referencing the part where you called him a monster. Hatred filled his eyes as he looked at you; it was almost like he was beaming his anger towards you. You felt the heat swirling inside of you, the sweet anger boiling in your core, desperately wanting to come out.

“I despise you. I despise you and this damn First Or-“

“Don’t you dare speak ill of the First Order! Like it or not, you are my wife and you are required to uptake a specific role.”

“And what role would that be? Please, enlighten me! Because, I don’t believe that you aren’t withholding anything from me.”

Kylo just stared at you, his eyes a blaze and his mouth quirked, ever so flinching at the anger that lay trapped behind his lips.

“What is my role? Is it to be your little servant? Your little play _thing_!? Tell me why I am here!”

“Don’t you ever command me to do something again.” He was seething with anger at this point. It practically pooled out of him, but then again, it pooled out of you at the moment, too.

“I’m not your wife, by the way. I will _never_ be your wife.” You spat back at him with a glare.

You took a step back to allow yourself room to walk past him just so you could distance yourself from him as much as you could. But, he quickly grabbed your wrist, leaving you unable to walk away. You twisted at his grasp and yelled at him to let you go.

“Oh, believe me; I don’t have any desire to be your husband, either. You think you’re the only one being treated unfairly here, too? I don’t have the desire of spending my life in the wake of a bitch such as yourself.”

You pulled on your wrist and he let you go, making you fall to the floor. You stared up at him, anger in your eyes. He stares back briefly before turning back towards the ‘fresher, continuing what he had previously planned on doing. His words had left a sour taste in your mouth, and you were mad at yourself for letting his words offend you the way that they did. What the hell did he know about being treated unfairly?  He was a privileged person, protected behind his little mask and by the Supreme Leader Snoke. He hurt people and ruined lives, and then he would go home and enjoy a nice sleep in his luxurious bed onboard the big First Order base. Protected. Protected from his actions and words. He was privileged. How has he ever been treated unfairly? You must have been lying there on the floor for a while, because Kylo left the ‘fresher with his hair dripping and clinging to the side of his face. He wore nothing but long black pants. His torso was large and muscular, covered in freckles and little scars, like constellations running over his body. He got into the bed and turned the lights off with the Force, leaving you lying on the cold, hard floor. You felt a tear roll down your cheek as you looked straight ahead of you on to nothing in particular. You let the numbness ensue, letting it wash over your entire body, consuming every piece and detail of you, until you were whisked away by the darkness and peace of sleep.  


End file.
